Harsh but fair.

I feel as this is my last week in Turkey I should give those fellow travellers out there the full scope of my experiences here in Kas. Kas is a very small town with a gorgeous coastline of the blue-est water you will ever see. It’s about the one aspect they haven’t lied about on the travel brochures. We have been here just over 3 months and gone from seeing everything there is to offer here in Kas to just becoming locals at our favourite restaurant slash bar slash mid night snack spot – Jimmy Jokers [describing it as ‘fabulous’ would not be doing it enough justice]. But as much as I want people to visit this wonderful family owned restaurant where we have had many a great meal, drunken night and just good conversations, I wouldn’t want you to waste your hard earned money visiting Turkey.

Harsh?

Well I have to admit, it is beautiful, a lot like the picturesque coastline of Thailand, it doesn’t have beaches per se but rocky inlets that are kitted with large umbrella’s and ‘poofs’ to lounge on which is a great way to tan at the sea. But besides being beautiful, it doesn’t have much more to offer. Its over 40degrees just about every day – which I know sounds grand in theory but you have no idea of the unbearable, uncomfortable, sticky, sweaty, sleepless nights you will have. Its safe to say I haven’t had a proper night sleep since we got here. Not only is it just too hot, but the people are …to put this lightly … HORRIFIC, ok so horrific is harsh maybe dishonest, lying, greedy, disgusting, slimy, dirty, ignorant and horrendous is better?

Harsh?

I hate to sound so negative but it would be fab if you could remove all the Turks from Turkey – problem solved [now who said I wouldn’t change the world for the better huh?]. If you’re like me and feel that the locals can either make or break a place then don’t go to Turkey. They lie, cheat and steal their way into your pockets anyway they can, not only are they bad people in general but the men are slimy and disgusting – I don’t mind a glance at the ladies every now and then but they see an elbow and they are a walking hard -on.  They also have proper stores selling fakes at only 20% off the original price??? When I told them they were fake and should be cheaper [the inner bargain hunter in me] he said yes but its good leather and the best fake – where I simply replied “go to Asia”. Now I don’t care how stupid you are, why are you buying a fake Louis for €600?

Its not only their ‘great fakes’ that are extremely pricey, it’s the whole town – dinner costs us the same amount as it does in Monaco. Now if I wanted a fancy Mediterranean getaway I wouldn’t rough it in dusty Turkey so why charge so much for so little.

Every salesperson, worker, official, security guard, waiter and ferry ticket officer has given us more than one reason to hate them. They don’t care much for service or even after sales service so as soon as they have your money they all of a sudden ‘don’t understand’ – but your English was fine ten minutes ago? I guess it is possible we have had a bad run with terrible Turks, but in the 3 months we have been here I have met perhaps a handful good Turk – those are not good odds.

My advice - get rid of all the Turks then Turkey would be a much nicer place. I have met some tourists who say they love the people here, but clearly they never met ‘Firat’ – the plumber who pleasured himself while standing behind me watching me mop the floor [unfortunately a true story] Or maybe they didn’t meet ‘Mehmit’ – the contractor who we paid to work for us for three days and worked two hours a day and charged us for 3 full days? Or maybe they didn’t meet ‘Omur’ our sweet taxi driver who tried to charge us ten times the normal price on day two and then kept doubling it every other day, hey you have to admire his boldness I guess. Maybe it was all doomed from day one when they held me up in the police station as they didn't know that South Africa was an actual country. 

So if Turkey was on your ‘To-Do’ list, id take it off and replace it with somewhere nicer – anywhere else in fact, somewhere with more value for your money with people who appreciate your business and tourism.

Definitely first country to properly hit the ‘Stu-‘s sh*t list’ for sure.

Never again Turkey…Never again.