Being Stu has allowed me the luxuries of a spot of
travelling here and there, which is really why I took on the persona (and job)
as Stu. Ok so let me explain…a
friend of mine introduced me to this fabulous book called “101 things to do
before I die”. Yeah yeah yeah a bucket list of sorts but really more of a fun
way of recording moments in my life. Some of them are extreme ideas from sky
diving to bungee jumping (Tick, Tick) while others are simple, like create your
own cocktail (tick – I named it the Samuel L Jacky Chanson, and it’ll blow your
mind), yet they still push you to do things away from your normal day to day
behaviour. Some of them are a bit ridiculous or near impossible for example, write your own best seller. Come to
think of it, it’s probably not that hard, I mean every book I have read over
the last two years (Yes, I read) has either “New York Times best seller” or
some other “best seller” advertising sprawled all over its cover. Seriously?
How many best sellers could there be? But back to the point, some of them are
truly damn near impossible, like having enough
money to do all the things on the list, and one of them is continue your gene pool and we all know
all kids do is eat, spend your money and sleep (yes I was one of them too).
Difficulties aside, it’s the simple ideas they give you that
have lead me here, today! I was particularly fond of the “Visit all the countries of the world”, and although near
impossible, I’m giving it my all! Ticking as I go along! My most recent
escapades were to Thailand, among other amazing places but that will all come
later (here’s where I tell you you should subscribe to my blog so you don’t
miss out on all the great travel advice I might have). After being told by just
about everyone that “OMG you guys, Thailand is un-friggen-believable”. So we
went for it, and I went against what everyone had told us about pre-booking
hotels and booked us a week in a semi luxury resort for less than what I spend
on a night out at the pub - and my drinking abilities have decreased quite
substantially, I am now a light weight, much to my own horror. Now in order to
give you accurate information on Thailand, not only the “It was amazing” bits –
which it was, but phew there are some hurdles to get over.
Take for example the route up to Thailand from Kuala Lumpur
(tick) by train was “all the rage” according to Trip Advisor for a cheap over
night way to get to Thailand. They don’t however tell you that you will most
likely be sharing the train with a thousand other people and perhaps a chicken
or two (your laughing…I’m still not). After what was the most horrific 23 hours
of my life, a bit dramatic I know but at the border we were all booted off -
thanks for that bit of info Trip Advisor (note to self, take off Trip Advisor
from possible advertisers list). Told to leave our belongings and go through
border control. For those of you who wish to live in Thailand for an
undetermined amount of time, just watch the sneaky 500Bth a day fee for over
staying the mere 15-day visa they give you on arrival from the train (see great
tip)
So we head
through border control, hoping our bags weren’t stuffed with cocaine and that
we weren’t about to re-live the movie Broken
Down Palace (hell no!) Walked out from where the friendly smiling Thai man
(an oxymoron if I ever), stamped our passports to find that not only were our
bags gone, but the whole train was gone as well. We got them back eventually
and after a two full days travelling, being haggled, scammed and subjected to
six hours on a bus without AC (which they promise you on their children’s
lives), we arrived at our gorgeous hotel.
And gorgeous it was,
Thailand for the most of it is truly beautiful, apart form the hundreds of poor stray dogs
trying to infect you with rabies (Its not on the list but tick) Their food is
tasty beyond words even if sometimes your worried it might not be chicken but
that poor stray dog trying to infect you with rabies. The shopping was cheap
and great fun, I must say I roll my eyes and click my tongue to all those
travellers whose advice was to arrive with an empty suitcase. Shame on you for
dishing out such bad travel tips. If I wanted to stock up on lumo gears, fishermans
pants, the hard-to-sell Ed Hardy get ups and about a billion Sinhga beer vests then maybe, but to
bring an empty suitcase is a bold and bad move.
How about tips like:
1. Pack bug spray, and a lot of it, as you will be
covered from head to toe in bites. You can buy it there cheaply but the only
ones we could find said they were mosquito and snail repellents. Snail
repellent… how slow are we moving, or is this preventative measures for passing
out at the full moon party?
2. Bargain your way down almost to zero, its
possible and don’t be afraid to walk away, that dress will be at the very next
store for half the price.
3.
Pack bog roll, Always! Not only is toilet paper a luxurious item over there, you
never know what the next toilet will be like, especially if your backpacking or
flash packing. We were on a ration of one roll a day from our hotel?
4.
The hose next to the toilet isn’t for spraying away the cockroaches but for spraying after you
‘go’. Laugh all you want but that’s all I used it for.
5.
Linked to the above tip; Invest in some slipslops
that have a wedge on them. Think about it, the hose sprays water onto your bum
and where does that water go?
6 . And
lastly… take Imodium as well as laxatives. I know your thinking why both, well
in Thailand we experienced only two states of being. We were either constipated
(rice and noodles, say no more) or had the trots. (Please see tip 3) I did however take the runs as a blessing
in disguise; you put on minimum holiday weight, look on the bright side here
people.
After an amazing two and a half weeks in Thailand, you’ll
never want to leave but just remember that if that’s how beautiful one place
could be, imagine what else is out there. Don’t worry, I’m on it!
That’s all I have for this week - Keep doing the crazy and
squeeze every drop of awesome-ness from today!
Yours truly,
Stu
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