They see me roll'in, they hat'in

 I read before venturing off on our extended leave of absence that if you are not all that into back packing, you can always try the “flash-packing” side of things, which is only slightly more expensive.  Without a lifetime supply of money this made me very happy, as we were on a budget and I’m all about good deals.  I still wasn’t too prepared for the extreme budget spots, in particular dirty or even worse, communal showers. Now I might sound like a snob here, who I am not for the record, I in fact lived in a hellhole for a whole year (nine months actually but a year sounds so much better, rounding it up hey?). I started sharing showers - in hostels – in a more normal on a budget slash gap year way rather than the way it just came across. I actually enjoyed them (still in a normal gap year kinda way) jokes aside, my friend and I (Johnson, My Johnson) would visit every bathroom on all the levels of the hostel and go “Shopping”. It was the best way to find left-toiletries, thieves we were not but free is free and free is fabulous at the end of the day.

Not only have I done the communal shower thing, I also lived without power for a month, in London, (And you thought that was nothing until London sprung up – cynics). But I thought sure, Asia is rough (no offense) but hey, I can handle it, which I did with only a few minor hiccups.

Take Bali for example, I pre-booked our first weeks stay – enough of the rolling eyes please, I’m an organiser and I like things organised OK (OCD attack over – phew). As our flight only arrived at mid-night I thought that at least our cosy little hotel which as described on the net as “ comfortable, close to the main beach, clean and spacious” and all that for only €10 a night plus brekkie – too good to be true. And it was! The room was spacious, luckily, as it allowed all the dust, previous guests hair, and lost (or were they?) bugs to gather in the corners. Deep breath, I could rough it with the best of them. Busting for the loo plus a first bout of food poisoning (not complaining as I lost a few kilos this week, just merely stating a fact), rushed to the all-in-one-bathroom. An all-in-one-er is fine with me, it’s a time saver but when I’m standing on someone else’s pee and lets face it…poo while taking a shower – HELL NO. I flushed, only to watch what I had just put down spew out the sides onto the floor. That was me I’m afraid – back-packer I AM NOT!

I will not be mocked or sniggered at by professional backpackers either - with their roll up mats, drying laundry from their backpack, alongside the clip-on hand sanitizer, wearing their hiking boots as if that’s appropriate footwear for any occasion. I am proud to roll my wheelie bag – maybe we should start a new trend of budget rollers, walk around in gorgeous, perhaps uncomfortable sandals with my dirty laundry at the laundry mat drying and my hand sanitizer in my handbag thank you very much.

Bali does offer you hotels without a dust infested room and sh*t-free bathrooms but I suggest you venture as far away from Kuta as possible. As much fun as I had, and the surfer beaches that we missioned around to find were as close to paradise as you can find, being haggled all day by Linda for a massage will drive you insane.  Yes, Linda was her name, as she wore it on her hat while she inappropriately started touching your feet or shoulders while she sat on my lounge chair under my umbrella. Don’t be fooled and say “maybe after a swim”, or  “maybe later”, be bold and say NO! Better yet find a beach where Linda didn’t get to and have the most peaceful day on a beautiful beach.

Few great tips before backpacking or even flash packing like:

- Pack some shower slops – I know this isn’t grade 11-school camp but if you want some gross diseases then be my guest. And leave them at the bathroom door for the drunken mid-night pee (you’ll thank me).

- Whatever price they offer you, divide it by 3 and then start going lower.

- Don’t waste bag space on a beach towel, pack those extra shorts and buy a cheap sarong, its so hot it’ll dry in about two minutes.

- Make sure you leave with some cash, they charge a sneaky leaving fee and its pretty hefty!

- Don’t pre-book accommodation (even if your like me) but wonder around the area you want to stay in and demand to see their bathrooms. They seem to neglect them when the cleaning gets done.

- Their food is fabulous, so branch out.

See so if your nervous to travel on a budget and don’t fit the “back-packer” mould, never fear – You don’t have to wear your ‘Hitek’ hiking boots at all if you don’t want to. Flash packing or backpacking might not be my thing, perhaps “Rolling” is!

Sam-In-A-Can rolling out of here for now!