Thai Tid Bits.

Sun sets are always better with a mango shake.
 If my last post was helpful I think you may be happy with these Thai Tid Bits :)
We are loving our new home which is a small more ‘local’ town called Mae Phim with a small beach and one strip of restaurants and bars and about the same ratio of Thai people to Swedish folks round here, strange but absolutely wonderful. Lots of scooters with side cars for the family [too funny] and lots of fabulous Thai food. Its not your standard Thai spot with beach bungalows and a thriving night life however its somewhere you come to become a ‘local’. Know all the restaurant staff, hang out with the ‘rental’ guy and the kind of place where your scooter, apartment, and favourite restaurant are all run by the same guy.

It is 2 hours from Bangkok airport. If you want to stop off along the way head to Pattaya for a night then its an hour and bit to us from there. Pattaya is famous for its sex trade and night life, even more so than Bangkok. We went for their latest festival and it was a bit much to say the least. Packed to the brim and over flowing with 60 year old fat men with a young Thai lady alongside him [or Thai boy]. Its definitely a place to see for a day [then move on quickly] go for a stroll through the local markets to eat street food [which is great after you put the health and sanitary factors out of your mind] and a stroll around town to see the bars with the ladies … and men on offer.

Festival fun in Pattaya.

Getting around Pattaya

Hotels.

A Thai hotel is a Thai hotel. Its as simple as that. Always ask to see the room as this is common practise, and the pictures are the best pieces of photo shop you have ever seen. Ill be honest, no amount of ‘sea views’ can get you through a sweaty night on filthy sheets and a rock hard bed that you think you may break a rib and gross bathrooms. But it is what it is. So my advice is to check the bathrooms, always look around town for better, always ask for a discount because if you don’t ask you will never know. Always get air-con [a fan just wont cut it, the heat is insane, we find ourselves stepping outside our air conditioned room so we can appreciate the cool that much more] and then just enjoy the town, beaches and bars. That is unless your staying at a lodge or resort – which usually costs quite a lot but the difference between mid range hotels to five star resorts is huge so it depends on the type of holiday your after.

This is normal. Get used to it.

This thing is useless but they love them. you will see a lot of these

If you’re coming for a long time to one place then book a week at somewhere and then look around for apartments or villas. The term ‘villa’ puts most of us off just assuming it isn’t in our price bracket but that is untrue. Depending on your location they can start from around 15000THB p/m for a small one to 30000THBp/m for a huge one with 4 bedrooms, private pool and much more, plus if you share with a family or a bunch of mates then its way more fun than a hotel and you can cook at home or eat brekkie at home at least, so its always worth a look.

Food.

No excuses, Thai food in Thailand is a must. You can eat as much pizza and as many burgers as you want when you get home so just try it all, besides Western food in Thailand is not exactly their “thing” and usually a bit pricey by comparison so butch up and try Thai.

 The best thing to do is buy a few dishes and share them as the portion sizes of Thai meals are huge, you never need a rice per person as its always too much so start off with only a few. Also everything pretty much comes in chicken, pork or seafood so there is always something for everyone … unless your allergic to nuts then maybe skip Thailand and head straight to the next spot :)

Pad Thai. MMMMM

A few absolute MUSTS are below and start at about 100THB and maximum 180THB [Any more than that and your eating at the Four Seasons ok]:

Pad Thai; it’s a delicious noodle dish with either chicken, pork or seafood with egg bits accompanied by bean sprouts, chilli, lime and peanuts to mix in - I know when they bring those side dishes you have NO IDEA what they are for but trust me, add it all in and you will see the flavour that explodes!

Massaman Curry; Also with chicken or seafood in a creamy coconuty sauce with peanuts and a nice bite that you may not think you want but will love. It is by far my favourite Thai dish.

Green curry; You know it, you loved it at home, wait till you taste it here. It will blow your mind. Just careful with the chilli factor, even if you can handle chilli you will always underestimate Thai peoples ability to handle it so we always go mild or medium. Asking for “hot” always end up in tears.

Tom kha gai; my favourite coconut chicken soup. Get one to share for the table and you wont be sorry. Gai [pronounced Guy is chicken]

Tom yum Kung; Excuse my spelling but every restaurant spells them differently so I’m running with my own version here. It’s a spicy delicious prawn soup as ‘kung’ pronounced ‘guuum’ is prawn. Again, order this to share as a starter. It’s an absolute must!!!

Those are the meals in our staple diet, but Dom has tried almost every fish and seafood dish at every place and loved everyone. They do their prawns really well and their fish is generally always fresh. In fact you can usually choose it outside [a bit cruel but that’s the way of life for fish I guess].

When it comes to Western food always always be sceptical, unless the chef is Italian or Swedish and you met him [as he will be the guy smoking at the entrance who is keen to chat to new people] then try it but trust me when I say that the saying “you cant f*ck up a burger or cheese sandwich or pasta” is so untrue over here its frightening. They even offer Croque Monsieur [Melted white cheese and ham toastie] but it is not what you may think. That’s why breakfast is a waste to go and pay for as they just don’t get eggs, bacon and tomato so rather just get some fruit from your hotel or cereal and then hit the lunches and dinners in tapas style. Western food also starts at about 250THB up to 600THB or even 800 - 1000THB for a fillet steak.

Fruit shakes with a kick

Booze.

Local beer here [Singha, chang and Leo] are cheap as chips even though the price varies from place to place but generally always a large one around 80THB at a restaurant and about that price for a case in a store. From what I have seen most people who love their Heinekens learn to love the local stuff so don’t worry beer drinkers. You’ll be fine.

For the ‘wine-o’s’ out there:

 You will have to change your tune unfortunately. Wine is terrible over here and the cheapest glass starts at 350THB a glass which is the same price from a 7Eleven per bottle but still not really worth it at all. So my advice is to take your maximum allowance on the plane and drink on the beach [its allowed] or in your hotel /villa. Or change to spirits or beer. I know I know, its tough but mark my words… ill find us an alternative over here just give me more time.

Spirits are generally pricey at bars but not at all in the shops. For example by the bottle in 7Eleven of Absolute Vodka [large] is 859THB/ 21€ and Bombay Saphire is 1090THB/ €26. SO its worth going with a gin lime and water or vodka lime and water.

 But we have worked out a gap in their market, their cocktails are expensive [250THB and up] and very strong and not very nice. Its as if they think you just want straight up booze and minimum fruit flavour but their ‘shakes’ are out of this world and cheap [60THB - 80THB and up] and the mango, watermelon, or coconut ones are too delicious and refreshing and basically pure fruit and ice So order one of those and then order a shot or two of vodka on the side then add it yourself. If you ask them to add it in you instantly confuse them so just ask for shots and the cost works out cheaper and so much better.

Will keep you in the loop for the hunt for the affordable vino, until then......

Bye for now.

Xx

Thailand for tourists.

So its official, we have traded in the rose, baguette et fromage along the Cote D’Azur after a fabulous four and a half years for Thai green curry, buckets of spirits, neon painted faces and ‘peel-able’ mango’s. It’s a shock to say the very least, from one foreign language [that we marginally understood and spoke very little of] to a language that I cant even read or identify a letter let alone speak it.

So Et Voila… I mean tvxz ÎÍzf.

And boy … are we learning quick.

So I figure, us being over here must come in some use to the 4 million tourists that Phuket alone sees every year [told ya, learning quick!] This for a island of only a registered 500 000 people, but I’m told by some locals its double that due to the Burmese strolling over the boarder [Sjho sjho sjho, learning!!]

So a few helpful pearls of wisdom that we have either learnt quickly or the hard way I have jotted down for your benefit.

- On arrival you get a departure and arrival card that you fill out on the plane and hand in to the guy at customs. This piece of paper is something you NEED to keep. They don’t say it and the amount of these pieces of paper all over makes one think you can fill it out when you leave. However it has a corresponding code that they match up for your arrival and departure, so they quite like it. If you loose it, or throw it away by a mistake then you are either liable for a fee, which when asked, is at the discretion of the security personnel [in some countries that is called a bribe] or simply money in exchange for them to make a plan [in other words … a bribe]

- Test your driver, your receptionist, waiter, bartender, shop attendant or anyone who claims to understand you. For example; “Is this the right way to the marina?” “Yes”, “Are you sure, we seem to be heading away from the beach?” “yes”, Now comes the test. “Is this the wrong way to the marina?” “Yes”. Case in point.

- Tipping is apparently NOT a thing here. Obviously coming from four and a half years on a yacht where tips were our glory days, I’m always inclined to leave something. But when asking around they simply laughed and said if you REALLY want to “if the service was really good’ then leave 20 Thai Baht [which is nothing] We found this out after tipping 10% at every restaurant and thinking to ourselves that these people are just so happy. Lesson learnt.

So...Pretty much everything and sprite! Ok then!

- I remember writing about this on my first visit to Thailand but I feel that for first timers you have to have to get your head around the idea that there are only two physical states whilst in Thailand. The ‘runs’ and then nothing at all. It sounds gross but trust me the plug is either in or its OUT!

Its not a tough life :)

- Must haves being, hand sanitizer, wipes of some sort [for the filth, for the sweat or simply to cool you down] and as much mozzy stuff as you can. It is cheap over here but you do not want to arrive unprepared, you will be eaten alive.

- When saying thanks throw in the head bow and the hands. It’s a nice touch.

Only a few to get you started for now but rest assured the more mistakes we make, and we will, ill be sure to fill you in.

So for now … tvxz ÎÍzf. tvxz ÎÍzf. [or frenetically, Laaaa Kooorrrnnn Kaaaaaaaaaa] See… learning!