Thank you Thailand... but now I move on!

This is it…

We have been to Thailand three times now, and every time we have said “It was nice, but we wouldn’t go back unless it was for work or for free”. Which is what the two latter trips were. But now, this is it!

We may not have seen and done it all but I have seen enough and done enough to fully tick off Thailand for good. It’s not that it’s not a good holiday destination because I guess for mainstream travellers it is. You get the brochure of the white sandy beaches with no one on them and the smiling, friendly Thai locals gifting you fruit or whatever and think everyone else is or has done it so lets do it. Plus its cheap by comparison to other beach holiday destinations.

So on the Plus…

The brochure is right, there are some sandy beaches, and great food and a fruit shakes and some outrageous parties for sure. Its casual, its dirty, it’s the backpackers paradise. The resorts for non-backpackers are affordable for semi luxury and who doesn’t love a good barter for a fake Louis?

The food is definitely a favourite for me even though im a terribly fussy eater. I still managed some wonderful curries, some quality street food and some veggie dishes that I rave about still. The weather seems to be always wonderful, even when it rains it’s exciting. I love a good storm and wow does it deliver, I have been pretty much in every month so now know what to expect and HOT is putting it lightly.

So the Scandies love it, the Ruskies love it and the old, single Poms love it.

What the brochure doesn’t tell you is that those white sandy beaches are full with Chinese tourists by the bus load [and I mean BUS LOAD, 2 or 3 at a time] and they don’t want to enjoy it they just want the photo. Those pictures online don’t show the hoards of over weight Russians polluting the beaches with the hands on their heads tanning the ‘under-boob’ or the filth of just about everywhere.

It’s an assault on the senses for sure.

When I smell a blocked toilet or sewerage farm it will bring me back to my Thailand days for sure.

They also don’t tell you that when you barter its for each and every thing, even in proper shops they will bring out a discount on a calculator for a pair of labelled sunnies that you assumed were from an authorised dealer [as that is what it looks like] and in actual fact they are fake. “Fake but good quality, best fake” is a personal favourite term of theirs and just hilarious really. A real Louis will cost you from €500 up but the fake will be €100 minimum for a good fake. P-a-lease!

In certain towns you see ‘gringo’s’  [as we used to call ourselves and white people, they use ‘Farung’] with a Thai bride/hooker/companion/whatever you want to call it. It’s all over and right in your face. Famous for sex trade. Famous to pick up a wife real cheap to any man willing to support them even a tiny bit.

It’s the type of place where they don’t want to talk to you if you don’t speak Thai so you bust out a few hello’s and Thank you’s, but when you learn a few more phrases then you’re the enemy. It’s a fine line.

I met some truly wonderfully people there but it’s the ones that treat animals worse than rapists and murderers and we all know my thoughts on that. If a person cant show compassion to animals then to me… there is a gene missing. And wow is it ever evident here. You name it, and they will eat it, abuse it, ride it, train it, cage it, or kill it.

- Elephant rides [Go to Pattaya and see the bus loads of Chinese and Russians riding these poor elephants from 8am to 8pm non stop.

-Dogs, well they cage them up and skin them alive for fur or for the illegal meat trade. Look up the Soi dog foundation and then tell me what you think.

- Birds, any type of bird is caged for life for no reason at all.

- Cats, same as dogs really but they survive better with all the rats I guess

- They fish their seas out and one would think they would look after their ocean and beaches as that’s why we came right? Wrong… They are filthy, we took a 3 week trip from Phuket all around to Rayong and Pattaya and the ocean was just filthy. So sad.

I’m in no way saying don’t go, by all means its an affordable holiday [for South Africans that’s saying something] but I wont promote it to anyone, I say be bold, be brave and be adventurous and hit the road less travelled. Go where no one you know has gone yet, try the Philippines, try Sri Lanka, try Malaysia, try Cambodia if Asia is your thing.

After all it’s just my opinion, if your tossing it up between Thailand or Sri Lanka, you know my opinion.

“Each to their own I guess.”

By for now…

Thai Tid Bits.

Sun sets are always better with a mango shake.
 If my last post was helpful I think you may be happy with these Thai Tid Bits :)
We are loving our new home which is a small more ‘local’ town called Mae Phim with a small beach and one strip of restaurants and bars and about the same ratio of Thai people to Swedish folks round here, strange but absolutely wonderful. Lots of scooters with side cars for the family [too funny] and lots of fabulous Thai food. Its not your standard Thai spot with beach bungalows and a thriving night life however its somewhere you come to become a ‘local’. Know all the restaurant staff, hang out with the ‘rental’ guy and the kind of place where your scooter, apartment, and favourite restaurant are all run by the same guy.

It is 2 hours from Bangkok airport. If you want to stop off along the way head to Pattaya for a night then its an hour and bit to us from there. Pattaya is famous for its sex trade and night life, even more so than Bangkok. We went for their latest festival and it was a bit much to say the least. Packed to the brim and over flowing with 60 year old fat men with a young Thai lady alongside him [or Thai boy]. Its definitely a place to see for a day [then move on quickly] go for a stroll through the local markets to eat street food [which is great after you put the health and sanitary factors out of your mind] and a stroll around town to see the bars with the ladies … and men on offer.

Festival fun in Pattaya.

Getting around Pattaya

Hotels.

A Thai hotel is a Thai hotel. Its as simple as that. Always ask to see the room as this is common practise, and the pictures are the best pieces of photo shop you have ever seen. Ill be honest, no amount of ‘sea views’ can get you through a sweaty night on filthy sheets and a rock hard bed that you think you may break a rib and gross bathrooms. But it is what it is. So my advice is to check the bathrooms, always look around town for better, always ask for a discount because if you don’t ask you will never know. Always get air-con [a fan just wont cut it, the heat is insane, we find ourselves stepping outside our air conditioned room so we can appreciate the cool that much more] and then just enjoy the town, beaches and bars. That is unless your staying at a lodge or resort – which usually costs quite a lot but the difference between mid range hotels to five star resorts is huge so it depends on the type of holiday your after.

This is normal. Get used to it.

This thing is useless but they love them. you will see a lot of these

If you’re coming for a long time to one place then book a week at somewhere and then look around for apartments or villas. The term ‘villa’ puts most of us off just assuming it isn’t in our price bracket but that is untrue. Depending on your location they can start from around 15000THB p/m for a small one to 30000THBp/m for a huge one with 4 bedrooms, private pool and much more, plus if you share with a family or a bunch of mates then its way more fun than a hotel and you can cook at home or eat brekkie at home at least, so its always worth a look.

Food.

No excuses, Thai food in Thailand is a must. You can eat as much pizza and as many burgers as you want when you get home so just try it all, besides Western food in Thailand is not exactly their “thing” and usually a bit pricey by comparison so butch up and try Thai.

 The best thing to do is buy a few dishes and share them as the portion sizes of Thai meals are huge, you never need a rice per person as its always too much so start off with only a few. Also everything pretty much comes in chicken, pork or seafood so there is always something for everyone … unless your allergic to nuts then maybe skip Thailand and head straight to the next spot :)

Pad Thai. MMMMM

A few absolute MUSTS are below and start at about 100THB and maximum 180THB [Any more than that and your eating at the Four Seasons ok]:

Pad Thai; it’s a delicious noodle dish with either chicken, pork or seafood with egg bits accompanied by bean sprouts, chilli, lime and peanuts to mix in - I know when they bring those side dishes you have NO IDEA what they are for but trust me, add it all in and you will see the flavour that explodes!

Massaman Curry; Also with chicken or seafood in a creamy coconuty sauce with peanuts and a nice bite that you may not think you want but will love. It is by far my favourite Thai dish.

Green curry; You know it, you loved it at home, wait till you taste it here. It will blow your mind. Just careful with the chilli factor, even if you can handle chilli you will always underestimate Thai peoples ability to handle it so we always go mild or medium. Asking for “hot” always end up in tears.

Tom kha gai; my favourite coconut chicken soup. Get one to share for the table and you wont be sorry. Gai [pronounced Guy is chicken]

Tom yum Kung; Excuse my spelling but every restaurant spells them differently so I’m running with my own version here. It’s a spicy delicious prawn soup as ‘kung’ pronounced ‘guuum’ is prawn. Again, order this to share as a starter. It’s an absolute must!!!

Those are the meals in our staple diet, but Dom has tried almost every fish and seafood dish at every place and loved everyone. They do their prawns really well and their fish is generally always fresh. In fact you can usually choose it outside [a bit cruel but that’s the way of life for fish I guess].

When it comes to Western food always always be sceptical, unless the chef is Italian or Swedish and you met him [as he will be the guy smoking at the entrance who is keen to chat to new people] then try it but trust me when I say that the saying “you cant f*ck up a burger or cheese sandwich or pasta” is so untrue over here its frightening. They even offer Croque Monsieur [Melted white cheese and ham toastie] but it is not what you may think. That’s why breakfast is a waste to go and pay for as they just don’t get eggs, bacon and tomato so rather just get some fruit from your hotel or cereal and then hit the lunches and dinners in tapas style. Western food also starts at about 250THB up to 600THB or even 800 - 1000THB for a fillet steak.

Fruit shakes with a kick

Booze.

Local beer here [Singha, chang and Leo] are cheap as chips even though the price varies from place to place but generally always a large one around 80THB at a restaurant and about that price for a case in a store. From what I have seen most people who love their Heinekens learn to love the local stuff so don’t worry beer drinkers. You’ll be fine.

For the ‘wine-o’s’ out there:

 You will have to change your tune unfortunately. Wine is terrible over here and the cheapest glass starts at 350THB a glass which is the same price from a 7Eleven per bottle but still not really worth it at all. So my advice is to take your maximum allowance on the plane and drink on the beach [its allowed] or in your hotel /villa. Or change to spirits or beer. I know I know, its tough but mark my words… ill find us an alternative over here just give me more time.

Spirits are generally pricey at bars but not at all in the shops. For example by the bottle in 7Eleven of Absolute Vodka [large] is 859THB/ 21€ and Bombay Saphire is 1090THB/ €26. SO its worth going with a gin lime and water or vodka lime and water.

 But we have worked out a gap in their market, their cocktails are expensive [250THB and up] and very strong and not very nice. Its as if they think you just want straight up booze and minimum fruit flavour but their ‘shakes’ are out of this world and cheap [60THB - 80THB and up] and the mango, watermelon, or coconut ones are too delicious and refreshing and basically pure fruit and ice So order one of those and then order a shot or two of vodka on the side then add it yourself. If you ask them to add it in you instantly confuse them so just ask for shots and the cost works out cheaper and so much better.

Will keep you in the loop for the hunt for the affordable vino, until then......

Bye for now.

Xx

Thailand for tourists.

So its official, we have traded in the rose, baguette et fromage along the Cote D’Azur after a fabulous four and a half years for Thai green curry, buckets of spirits, neon painted faces and ‘peel-able’ mango’s. It’s a shock to say the very least, from one foreign language [that we marginally understood and spoke very little of] to a language that I cant even read or identify a letter let alone speak it.

So Et Voila… I mean tvxz ÎÍzf.

And boy … are we learning quick.

So I figure, us being over here must come in some use to the 4 million tourists that Phuket alone sees every year [told ya, learning quick!] This for a island of only a registered 500 000 people, but I’m told by some locals its double that due to the Burmese strolling over the boarder [Sjho sjho sjho, learning!!]

So a few helpful pearls of wisdom that we have either learnt quickly or the hard way I have jotted down for your benefit.

- On arrival you get a departure and arrival card that you fill out on the plane and hand in to the guy at customs. This piece of paper is something you NEED to keep. They don’t say it and the amount of these pieces of paper all over makes one think you can fill it out when you leave. However it has a corresponding code that they match up for your arrival and departure, so they quite like it. If you loose it, or throw it away by a mistake then you are either liable for a fee, which when asked, is at the discretion of the security personnel [in some countries that is called a bribe] or simply money in exchange for them to make a plan [in other words … a bribe]

- Test your driver, your receptionist, waiter, bartender, shop attendant or anyone who claims to understand you. For example; “Is this the right way to the marina?” “Yes”, “Are you sure, we seem to be heading away from the beach?” “yes”, Now comes the test. “Is this the wrong way to the marina?” “Yes”. Case in point.

- Tipping is apparently NOT a thing here. Obviously coming from four and a half years on a yacht where tips were our glory days, I’m always inclined to leave something. But when asking around they simply laughed and said if you REALLY want to “if the service was really good’ then leave 20 Thai Baht [which is nothing] We found this out after tipping 10% at every restaurant and thinking to ourselves that these people are just so happy. Lesson learnt.

So...Pretty much everything and sprite! Ok then!

- I remember writing about this on my first visit to Thailand but I feel that for first timers you have to have to get your head around the idea that there are only two physical states whilst in Thailand. The ‘runs’ and then nothing at all. It sounds gross but trust me the plug is either in or its OUT!

Its not a tough life :)

- Must haves being, hand sanitizer, wipes of some sort [for the filth, for the sweat or simply to cool you down] and as much mozzy stuff as you can. It is cheap over here but you do not want to arrive unprepared, you will be eaten alive.

- When saying thanks throw in the head bow and the hands. It’s a nice touch.

Only a few to get you started for now but rest assured the more mistakes we make, and we will, ill be sure to fill you in.

So for now … tvxz ÎÍzf. tvxz ÎÍzf. [or frenetically, Laaaa Kooorrrnnn Kaaaaaaaaaa] See… learning!

Four years...you beauty!

It’s been four years and 5 months since I left my home to start yachting. I had only planned for one or two years but every good 6-month long holiday deserves another I always say.

                                                           So here I am…

It’s been fun, it’s been tough, its been eye opening and character building. I have learned so much about myself, about people, about money, about the spoils of travelling, the lows of home-sick Sundays, about love, friendship and the power of a good Skype connection.

I found places that only a handful of people have seen, I have seen life from the eyes of the rich, the famous and stinking rich, I found the joy in the cheapest bottles of rose and the power of the ‘magnum’. I have found friendship that will last till I’m old and grey with people from all walks of life, from all countries, ages and wine choices.

I found love!

I have climbed the ‘metaphorical ladder’, I have learned from my mistakes, I have chosen to make more and I have treasured every moment in the sun, every foot in the sand, every sleepy eyed early morning road trip to see the snow and every lie in cuddle even if it is on a bunk bed.

I have learned to love the little things, my shower is filled with toiletries in over 3 different languages, I have mastered driving on the wrong side of the road, I parallel parked once. I now like tea [the kind with ice and rose in it]

 I have reminded myself that I am not lost in life but finding all the greatness it has to offer me. I have remembered that this was my plan all along, to find the unknown, to make a life, to love life, to love every peak and every trough. To stay smiling and to keep laughing.

I no longer take for granted a washing machine or dishwasher or how my clothes used to arrive back in my cupboard folded and ironed. I will never look at a bidet the same, I will never think I missed out on childhood fun by not having a bunk bed and I will always treasure having more than two drawers.

I am sure to miss the toiletries cupboard that never empties, the wine boxes that seem to be bottomless and the choccy cupboard. I will miss the Plage Mala days and bum sliding excursions.

 I will miss the sea from this side.

I am sure not to miss the umpteen hour weeks and the seasick days, I wont miss having an ‘owner’ or being ‘sold’ with a boat, stepping in dog poo or the long strings that hang off those damn bin liners.

A game with walkie-talkies will never be the same and a blue and white striped shirt will always be a bit ‘cringey’ from now on. I have accepted that its ok to be a number and that wearing a uniform for more days than you can remember doesn’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

I have found that there is very little pain that can’t be taken away by a Comprol and that hang-overs now take up two of my days

Yachting, its been a slice! Now can I have a double bed and a bath please.

Tis the season...

While I lie in bed after an exhausting [what feels like a full 24 hour working day] with what I can only imagine as insomnia which is most annoying as usually after a day on charter I’m dead as soon as my head hits the pillow. But never the less I thought it to be a good time to catch up on some of my encounters lately. A little list of what I have learned in the last few months whilst working in the confines of a Super-Duper yacht [Couldn’t help myself].

So here we go:

1.     No matter what … schnitzel trumps all.

2.     In yachting you sometimes have to deal with people who have the I.Q of a baguette and the manners of a steaming turd and you have to just ‘smile and wave’ no matter what.

3.     No matter how tired you are, one glass of rose after work and I’m good to go J

4.     In the words of my Chief Stu “There is NO such thing as a skid free day”.

5.     I am hugely grateful for the seat in my shower.

6.     Charters are like giving birth [hear me out] you hate every minute of it but as soon as its over and your tip is in hand and your sitting in the sink [instead of washing up in the sink] and sipping on a jug of mango daiquiri’s - you forget it all.

7.      I have now found that there is a time frame in life for how much fun bunk beds can be. Its now.

8.     Weighing yourself whilst at sea is both terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.

9.     Your not an alcoholic if you call it ‘tea’ and drink it out of a mug.

10. No matter how hard you try you will somehow either work with or for someone who makes you query a countries education system. All I have to learn now is to just get on with it ;)

11. People running into glass doors = still funny.

12. Chewing chips with earplugs in will blow your mind how loud it is – you must give it a try.

I find myself laughing at the peaks and troughs of yachting as it is truly a wonderful, painfully frustrating, exciting adventure that reminds me how lucky I am to be living life to the fullest, taking what I want from it and getting bucket loads extra along the way.

Keep on smiling – life is just too damn short not love even the shitty bits. J

Bye for now,

Sleep deprived STU

XoXo

Little piece of Provençal paradise

Ahhh 

I was lucky enough to visit the Gorge Du Verdon region in Provence and holy batman was I blown away! From the gorgeous poppy fields to the never-ending vineyards to the most picturesque little towns you only see in ancient movies. It was an absolutely fabulous adventure. We arrived at our reasonable hotel right on the water of Lake Sainte Croix and decided that a day of excursions just wasn’t for us and cracked open a few bottles of rose in the baking sun while we munched on some olive bread, fig jam, camembert and froie groie. I think I could have died and gone to heaven.

Our very special friends gorgeous home.

We stayed in a tiny town called Les Salles Du Verdon and it was just perfect. There was nothing in front of us but lake and sky, a few minutes walk from our terrace and we were at the waters edge contemplating jumping into the icy water. A few minutes drive from our little hotel was a road down to the lake where we hired a ‘pedalow’ [ I know it looks misspelt but I like it that way] from a bunch of lovely hippes. As we pedalowed [also looks horrifically misspelt] under the bridge flashing the good ol ‘peace sign ‘ to the Asian tourists [not a lie or being rude, fact] we past lovely French families holidaying and just relaxing as we squeaked past them [we happened to get the only pedalow in dire need of oiling, ruining the serenity somewhat].

[Our hotel was called Auberge Des Salles and was great value for what we had ]

We then drove up a few more kilometres to Moustier, which was having a medieval fair on that was so festive and full of life it was wonderful. A must here is their honey – it is to die for. One strange thing to try look out for is that when we arrived at 2 and tried to have lunch, everywhere closed at 2? I know France has their own working hours to the rest of the world but a handy tip when your travelling and famished.

 I would definitely suggest visiting all the little villages along the way. Take the touristy route and you feel like your driving through ancient times where castles and knights and wagons [Almost Game of Thrones type stuff – but in France]. Oh but be sure to bring cash with you as most places we went didn’t take debit cards, we almost had to do a runner after a bite of a sandwich eek!

I know your thinking its probably a mission to trek out to the lake but it was an hour and half from Nice and two hours door to door so even for a quick weekend break its worth it.

  

I couldnt resist.

I definitely plan on going again so if you know of great little spots around there – share your stuff with me!

Till my next Provencal adventure!

Bisous

Stu

Medieval games - SUCH FUN!

Lights, Camera....Photo-bomb *

SO as you know Cannes Film festival was a few weeks ago and although we didn’t have a charter or guests on we did get to sit out at anchor [BLEH] and watch as everyone else had celebrity parties. What fun I tell ya. Ha ha, no but I thought id give you a little insight for all those people who think its just famous people walking around at all times in Cannes.

Its really just chaos, Cannes is packed with tourists hoping to see Leo [first name basis], then there are the paparazzi people swarming every restaurant, pub or café. You will certainly know where a celeb is but there is not a chance in hell you will see them over that crowd. Then all the roads are  closed so getting there is a nightmare and even the trains will drive you mad [hang on, that’s normal for French trains]. The crew who work on these huge yachts get a few celebs but then again their boats are sooo big they never get into port so it’s a lot to give up for saying you served Brad a glass of Perrier.

 I wondered around town for a bit trying to find a celeb or two to give the ‘Film Fest’ the ol stamp – I’ve done it, but then I was just too intimidated by the crowds and the wannabees. So we picked a cute little café on the edge of the barriers and had a lovely bottle of rose and watched as people continually failed to find those celebrity encounters or even better those girls who dress up like models to be discovered and yet once past the hussle and bussle they put on their slops and harrumphed home.

I did however manage to see ol Nicole Kidman as she strolled past me to get to her tender. Little did she know I too was waiting for my tender to fetch me and Kat [Chief STU] to take us back to our home [a super duper yacht]. Minor details that I would be ironing all day or scrubbing the loo where she would be dining on caviar and Crystal. I did manage to photo bomb her as I lunged sideways to get into the shot [and get a better look myself]. So keep your eyes peeled folks – my 10 seconds of fame may still be coming!

So if your ever planning on spending your hard earned savings on hitting the Cannes Film Festival, my advice would be spend it on Rose and a Deck chair at the beach.  Life is just too damn short to spend wasted moments waiting for a glimpse of Brangelina. After all you’re the lead role in your own little hit show!

So till my next celebrity photo-bomb – By for now

Stu

Xx