Fantasy-life in Monaco

Monaco or as my folks like to say MonAAAAAAco, was always on my wish list of places to go as a kid. The movies make it out to be this magical paradise where only the finest, richest of tax evaders can call home. So when I moved to Antibes only a mere 55minute train ride away from this lush little principality, I could not have been happier. Then I got a job where the boat would be based out of Monaco and then I knew I was winning.

Until I got there.

Don’t get me wrong, it is a pretty little town tucked into a gorgeous coastline that I love dearly but it is nowhere near a paradise. It is occupied by wealthy, bored, and arrogant people who feel their passports set them aside from anyone else. There is nothing here, no restaurants worth visiting, no bars worth enjoying, its beach is poor especially when one train stop away you have Plage Mala [my favourite beach after Plett].

It is worth a look for an hour or so then move on to the best beaches, bars and culture in the world. But if you insist on spending some time here head up on a great walk to the top of the town to some gorgeous views of the French Riviera, stroll up to the castle and walk around the gardens up there, have a drink at Brasserie on the famous chicane in the grand prix and watch as every car over a few million bob roars past you. If you plan on sticking out in Monaco… drive an Uno Turbo – you’ll turn some heads :)

Here are some snaps from our most recent stroll through this bizarre city where nothing ever feels quite real.

:)

BATH TIME ANYONE?

FAB OLD CAR

Genoa... A surprisingly amazing city

Here is a little snap shot into my two months in Genoa strolling through the quirky and full of character Italian town.

Til my next adventure!

Wise words from my Daddy.

A poem from my parents for my 21st birthday a few years back. Reading this back is a perfect way to end off the year remembering the people and family that matter, living for the moments and the memories and always making the most out of everything while smiling the whole way through.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous Christmas and a wonderful New Years. May next year bring you good fortune, more rose and adventures that will blow your mind!

Til next year

Stu xxx

NEVER & ALWAYS

SAMMI

NEVER LOOSE YOUR WONDERFUL SMILE

ALWAYS STOP AT RED LIGHTS

NEVER TAKE WHAT YOU HAVE FOR GRANTED

AND ALWAYS HIT FIRST IN A FIGHT

ALWAYS BE YOUR UPBEAT SELF

DON’T PANDER TO NEGATIVE THOUGHT

STEER CLEAR OF THOSE ASSHOLES WHO WALLOW IN PITY

‘CAUSE LIFE IS JUST WAY TOO SHORT

ALWAYS PUT TRUST IN THE UNIVERSE

ALWAYS CLOSE THE TOILET DOOR

UNDERSTAND THAT RELIGIONS ARE PASSIONATE THINGS

THAT OFTEN END UP IN A WAR

ALWAYS BE WEARY OF GREENER PASTURES

NEVER BE FOOLED BY GLITZ

HARD WORK, SAID MY MUM, NEVER HURT ANYONE

AND LETS FACE IT, TO BE POOR IS THE PITS

NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS OR FOR CHEAP CHAMPAGNE

‘CAUSE LIFE SHOULD BE LIVED WITH A PASSION

BE SURE TO INVEST IN A DECENT BRA

‘CAUSE CLEVAGE IS ALWAYS IN FASHION

RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO THINK THAT YOU’RE FAMOUS

THAT VICTORIES ARE YOURS ALONE

‘CAUSE JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU’RE THE SHIZZ OF THE SHIZZ

THINGS OFTEN COME TUMBLING DOWN

DON’T TRAVEL TO COUNTRIES THAT HATE ONE ANOTHER

STAY FAR AWAY FROM ARMIES

AND NEVER SET OUT ON A LONG CAR TRIP

WITHOUT MUM’S BACON SARMIES

NEVER TAKE SLEEPING PILLS AND LAXATIVES TOGETHER

ALWAYS WEAR DIFFERENT SOCKS

NEVER FART AT THE START OF A JOB INTERVIEW

AND TEQUILA FOR BREAKFAST JUST ROCKS

NEVER LET YOUR CHILDREN PAT A HORSE

OR ENTER A LOCAL GYMKHANA

IT’S A SURE-FIRE OF BECOMING POOR

AND CREATING A LIFETIME OF DRAMA

ALWAYS LISTEN WITH AN OPEN MIND

NEVER TALK WITH A MOUTHFUL OF FOOD

ALWAYS TRY TO FIND SOMEONES BETTER SIDE

AND REMEMBER THAT BURPING IS RUDE

NEVER GET DRAWN TO A RUMOUR

ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

NEVER BELIEVE YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH

ALWAYS LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP

NEVER RAISE YOUR VOICE TO MAKE A POINT

IT’S BETTER TO MAKE IT SOFTLY

REMEMBER THAT DRUGS ARE AGAINST THE LAW

AND TO SMOKE IN YOUR CAR CAN BE COSTLY

NEVER THROW YOUR NAME AGAINST THE WALL

REMEMBER IT’S OUR NAME TOO

BUT LIFE IS FOR LIVING SO WHAT THE HELL

JUST APOLOGISE WHEN YOU DO

NEVER FORGET YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS

THINK FONDLY ON ALL YOU HAVE DONE

‘CAUSE EVEN THOUGH LIFE HAS BEEN FAB SO FAR

THE BEST IS YET TO COME

EMBRACE THE SLEAZE!

When you think of flying with “Easy Jet” or as its more commonly known ‘Sleazy Jet” the words dependable, reliable or good don’t necessarily come to mind do they? So when I saw a flight to Paris for an absolute steal that I couldn’t turn down I was beyond nervous as to how it would turn out. Would the plane even get to Paris, and would I be charged per mile due to the flight being so cheap.

With all the horrific reviews in mind I thought it’s too cheap to turn away so no matter what happens it will be worth it. Even their website advises you to arrive two hours earlier instead of one hour for domestic flights which is a worry in itself. But to be honest that first flight was the most nerve racking just waiting for something to go wrong – and it didn’t. In fact the entire process from printing out both my boarding cards in advance, to checking in to flying and getting there on time and even before time went swimmingly, it definitely surpassed all my expectations – even though those were just the basic levels of service but still an achievement in itself.

It got me thinking how do they then get away from the term ‘Sleazy Jet’? You ask anyone who knows about cheap airlines and they mention ‘Sleazy Jet’ without fail. Quite a stigma to have, so I thought the only way to keep marketing themselves favourably would be to embrace it, maybe even make that your slogan “Embracing the Sleaze”. Use the ‘sleaze’ to your advantage, dress your cabin crew in some fashionable sleaze, make your ‘how to put on your seat belt’ spiel a bit sleazy. Play it to your advantage and that way when you don’t deliver its just because your ‘Sleazy-Jet’.

So it’s up to you Easy-Jet…Embrace the Sleaze. But you definitely deserve a shout out for my seamless trip to Paris last week. Well done! !

From Paris with Love

"Aaah, Paris". I think that’s possibly the best way to describe such a beautiful and unique city. It was my third time back [spoilt I know] and this time with the man I love so it had the ‘Aw’ factor more so than not, but it truly was just fabulous.

As you know me by now historical things, museums and touristy spots are not my thing and to be honest I’m proud to say that even after three visits to the beautiful city of Paris I still haven’t hit one museum. I may sound culturally challenged but in Paris there is simply no need to do all that, culture, art and history are on every wall, around every corner, over every bridge and in all the bars.

Every morning while sitting down at breakfast [four day old baguette and some jam] at our hostel we would pick a spot to start at on the tube map and then wonder our way back home. We walked and walked and walked, obviously in between every little ‘walk’ was a little ‘rose’ as well so looked more like this –

Walk – “Rose” – Walk – “Rose” - Walk– “Rose” - Walk– “Rose” - Walk– “Rose”. 

And for non-tourists we managed to do most of it, wondered through Notre-Dame [simply because it was free], took some fabulous snaps of Le Tour Eiffel, ate a D-Lish-Us crepe up in Montmarte and even got offered hashish and cocaine in the red light district – due to his poor accent Dom thought he was offering us Shish kebabs and got very excited about those instead J. We shopped all along the Champs Elysees and got touristy by L’Arc de Triomphe and all the time making sure lunch, our afternoon snack, and dinner were heavily populated by rose. It would be a valid statement to say we basically drank and ate our way through Paris. Somehow the rose tasted even better while people watching in Saint Germaine.

The lock bridge

Not being ‘officially’ employed currently we decided to stay at a hostel to save as hotels and flats in Paris are completely out of most peoples budgets I think. However cheap this hostel was it made up for it by being weird. First rule of the hostel was no over 30’s as it was a ‘youth’ hostel never mind the 70 year old lady passed out at breakfast every morning and the definitely over 40 group of men looking for some hostel lovin [aaah hostels]. The next rule being even though you paid for your room you are not allowed in it from 11am to 3pm - at all. Their reasoning was for cleaning purposed but we all know they just walk down the halls dashing some bleach everywhere for the smell. Last of their bizarre rules was no showering after 9:30pm, now we were only strolling in a bit woozy and in need of a shower after mid night and were not allowed to shower. I think its safe to say hostels are not what they used to be or perhaps I have completely out-grown them. Sad hey!

Taking 'AVANT' down the Champs Elysees

I thought after my lovely time in Paris I would give you a few short points of advice if you ever happen to find yourself confronted with an unbelievably cheap ticket to Paris on the net.

1.     Found a cheap ticket? GO.

2.     The metro is easy, its like a real life sized game of snakes and ladders.

3.     Buy yourself the ’10 ticket’ deal its much cheaper and lasts for days, don’t be fooled into the day passes for 3 to 5 zones – a rip off.

4.     Don’t go to the Louvre – the outside is way more beautiful and there are no queues or disappointing small paintings of almost smiling woman at the end.

5.     Do what’s free – Paris has so much to offer that doesn’t cost you a fortune; Picnics in all the parks, rollerblading on Friday nights around the city, Notre-dame, look out for the hidden street art, daily live music in the streets and dancers at most corners. 

6.     Buy a lock and engrave on it and lock it to the ‘Lock bridge’ just out the back side of the Louvre – if anything its amazing to see.

7.     The Parisians seem to be working on the temper control as we only had two horrible waiters, but just ignore them and have another glass of rose. Everyone is great after a few glasses.

8.     Look at renting apartments and flats rather than hotels – so much cheaper and you can have your own meals as well.

www.housetrip.com

9.     Comfy shoes are one thing – but they must look good dammit. No more ‘sneans’ [Jeans and sneakers] in Paris it really is just frowned upon.

10. Lastly – prepare to spend a lot of money. But Paris is worth every penny.

So no matter the weather, Paris will not disappoint you.

Till next time Paris … Gros Bisous Xxx

Street art - you just have to open your eyes.

  

The path less travelled

It may not always be the best path but it sure will be fun along the way...guaranteed!

The grass is not always greener!

T.I.A - THIS is Africa

I know we all complain about the ‘bad’ in SA, the crime rate is through the roof, corruption is more common than aids it seems and a general sense of ‘get out before we turn into Zim’. I was always one who silently agreed [never much for a heated debate about important stuff but get me started on the debate whether rose needs ice or not, phew, ill be there for days] but it unfortunately takes one to leave the country to realise how good we actually have it. The grass isn’t greener on the side…in fact there isn’t any grass at all. Fine the crime and corruption are points that weigh heavily on our hearts and rightfully so but its time everyone started to see the good in whatever or where ever you are.

I left SA thinking that ‘sure I love my country but I know there is better out there’, and let me tell you it’s been hard to find something that compares. I have been in and out of France, Italy and Monaco for almost two years and without doubt they have issues too. Ok people aren’t getting raped or murdered daily but drug crimes here are rife, vandalism from the ‘Frashy’ [test to see who has read my previous blogs – directly translated into French – Trash, as in those horrible Adidas tracksuit wearing kids], these ‘Frashy’ idiots will sit in a queue for the bus to school, to school, while smoking. On the train they will smoke weed and offer it to other passengers as obviously when you’re in school your way too cool [Ok I was but these kids have fallen short].

Our public transport system may need a bit more of a push to get going properly but the trains and buses here probably go only 25% of the time. They strike more than the miners do. Sometimes its just because it’s a Monday and that’s just too much to ask to work on a Monday, I mean really?

When I look at the smaller things such as service in SA, we blow every country I have been to out of the water. I know I have complained about service back home but everyone needs to up their game now and then but every country I have been to looks at service the same way they look upon work ethic, morals and personal growth -  not bothered!!!

SPUR!!!! No who wouldn't LOVE Spur and their fabulous Hot rocks!

Even looking at the basics such as food back home - you have no idea how spoilt we are, not necessarily South African style cooking (bar the braai) but we are spoilt for choice. I remember being asked what I felt like eating; Chinese, Thai, Italian, Mexican, Pub grub etc but everywhere else has its basic two page menu that they are given by the restaurant god and they are NOT to stray from it. Even the countries who have a BBQ don’t do it right, I remember the hours of chatting around the braai holding your hand above it to see if the boerie would burn or not, yes it took hours…and so it should, not the electric quick braai, where is the experience in that? We take all that for granted.

I am not saying South Africa is the best place in the world but what I am saying is stop being so damn negative about everything. Every day I live away from home I am more grateful for the way I was brought up, the food we have, the lifestyles we live, the people I know and the list goes on and on. The world revolves around the negative so there is no point to dwell on it further, pick out the amazing, the wonderful, the good, even the ok. I guess if the grass isn’t green on your side… go buy some of that instant grass, put a braai on it with a cooler box filled with rose.

Sometimes you don't even need grass

Proudly South African – Stu [PSAS for all those too cool abbreviators out there], and pining for some biltong, a crème soda and some damn Nik Naks!

Cape Town - On a beach in Betty's Bay with some wonderful people!