Gen'I'us

After being based in the smallest most southern town of Turkey called Kas I have had a lot of time to think. I know what you’re thinking – blonde gal on a rather long gap year ‘thinking’ – worrying I know. Well you would be right. It is worrying, I think so much I plan my future at the very least once a day right down to the finer details of projected income, level of job satisfaction, perceived lifestyle, I’m the modern-day better looking Nostradamus.

All this thinking about my future has also lead to some heated debates on what we shall do with our ‘Euro-Millions’ winning lottery ticket that we have not yet bought but I have no doubt in mind will come.  Off topic but noted.

It has also got me storming on the ‘invention’ side of life. Which got me thinking – further of course as to my history with my own inventions. I mention this because my mind sometimes hits genius levels – if I’m to be modest here. But for every invention I have had, I have been unable to act on any of them, which is sad to say the very least. They say if you put your mind to something it will happen, well I put my mind to it, on a few occasions now that I tally them up, and the world obviously wasn’t ready for pure genius-ness.

First stroke of genius: When I was a small motion sickness pre-schooler I invented a flip down tray from the roof of the car that had clips and holders for all my drawing things so that I too could draw or read without the urge of wanting to throw up. “Genius” I hear you murmur, well it was, unfortunately I didn’t foresee technology taking such a massive advance (I was only about 7) and instead the flip down TV screen blew my little invention out of the water. I still think it would work for the parents who don’t want their children becoming television and play station zombies.

First “stolen” bright idea: I am sure you have seen the multi-veg cutter, that is scissor-like in its appearance but instead of blades it cutes say a whole cucumber into slices – clever I know. So I am almost sure [100%, well there or there abouts] that I came up with that first, perhaps after my early signs of genius with the fold down tray tipped off the feds [the inventor feds] and they snatched that one up while I told it to my mom in the car years and years ago.

These are just two examples that if I have followed through, would probably be sipping Mai Thais on a beach somewhere [I guess I’m already dong that, but say my wallet would weigh me down – like A LOT]. About 3 years ago I had an invention for high heels that would blow ol Jimmy [the Chooooooo] out the water. I just need some 5-step-guide-on-how-to-submit-your-invention-and-be-super-famous-guide. Where oh where can I find this? I now have an idea for the food industry that would make my life and millions of others out there easier if only I knew who the ‘Go To’ guy was.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, that when your kid says he has a cool idea on how to slice up an avo in perfect slithers all at once, or a contraption that de-pips olives, or if she thinks it would be a cool to have all your music on a small device that you could listen to anytime, or even if he has a great idea to join all his friends together [and some] on a website online where they can share pictures and thoughts and stuff like that – you could be…well… A GENIUS!

So for all those investors out there reading my blog looking for a great invention or the latest fad … Feel free to contact me – anytime.

Yours truly

Undiscovered Genius-Stu.

A lil boat trip around the gorgeous islands of Kekova.

Here is what I know!

 I might only be almost half way to half way in terms of years but for what it's worth of my life so far 

                                                      ... here’s what I know...

1.     There is an adventure in everything, never stop searching for it.

2.     No matter how much I try, I still can’t drink beer.

3.     Travelling is not as easy a putting a backpack on, sometimes you have to stand in some pretty nasty sh*t.

4.     It is never NOT a good idea to pack a few rolls of bog roll wherever you go.

5.     You never know when you might need a tub of Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream

6.     Working on a yacht does not mean I sip champers all day while in the hot tub – well not every day at least.

7.     Fellow travellers are just as crazy as you think they are.

8.     Jager bombs do in fact lead to complete black outs.

9.     Jager is an actual word in a word document – no squiggly line under mine.

10. A good set of dress up clothes never goes astray.

11. In order to see the world sometimes you have to clean a few toilets and iron a few beds first.

12. No matter how hard you try, the hang over will always get you, on this day or the next.

13. That moms are ALWAYS right. Best not to fight it.

14. Skype is as great as it as frustrating.

15. Home is always better when you’re away from it.

16. Money doesn’t grow on trees and unfortunately runs out at the end of a years worth of no work :)

17. Beach loungers are infinitely better than just towelling it – no matter the cost.

18. Seeing dolphins will always make you smile or squeal like a little girl.

19. Champagne mixed with any other alcoholic beverage gives you a mean hang over.

20. The older you get the more things hurt and “owie” no longer cuts it.

21. Laundry colour mishaps are not a problem but rather a wardrobe colour change.

22. Iron burns never get any easier to handle.

23. Onesies can in fact be cool and fashionable weekend attire.

24. LC (loser complex) never gets easier after a night out.

25. Slip ‘n Slides are not only for children.

26. There is no such thing as ‘enough money’.

27. Coke and chocolate don’t go well together.

28. Schnitzel with loads of lemon could solve all the worlds’ problems.

29. Wine in the shower is a great way to keep on par with everyone else, the effort dos not go unnoticed.

30. Playing with walkie talkies is still as much fun as it was when I was 8.

31. Waiting till midday to have a drink is silly and poor time management.

32. If it makes you happy – do it, if it doesn’t, then don’t!

33. You could probably eat a whole lot more Brie than you think you could.

34. Ironing your own clothes is pointless; I like to wear them till they are crinkle free or appropriately crinkled.

35. Monday is an under rated day to party – it has so much potential.

36. Asian toilets are just as bad as in your nightmare.

37. Every nation has d*ckheads, never think yours is exempt from this.

38. It is near impossible to buy one croissant.

39. The French have the ‘cheese, olives, rose and tapenade’ market tapped – note to the rest of the world – leave it to them.

40. Service in France is not a key element.

41. Turkish men are not known for their chivalry.

42. Shit gets really hard when two people don’t have a common language – no amount of charades in your past will help.

43. No price could be put on the fun that is had at water parks

44. Tips are like winning big at a casino.

45. Being paid in a foreign currency is always fun, especially when its Euro’s to Rands.

46. I still don’t get soccer.

47. Everybody loves free stuff, even if they are a pair of Dior heels a hooker left behind.

48. Ice never lets you down…never!

49. Airport officials who don’t know South Africa is a country should be put down.

50. Its probably time for a rose with ice right about now.